yet another year without you.

yang.

until you see this. xD

This is the proof I don't know how to draw or anything, at all :D

but i'm still trying to fake.

yang.

Life's full of 'if only's, 'only if's, hopes we should have, dreams should we possess, but without action, they're just bubbles, waiting to break.

The number of your dreams doesn't get you anywhere, the most it'd do to you is making you a dreamer, one living in a world own self created.

What we do in life is to have hopes, be courageous to dream, face hardships making them real, enjoy your happiness seeing the fruits of the seeds you planted so bravely and continue to dream more.

We have faith in our hopes, faith is something so wonderful that you just believe, with your pure heart that it will come to realization.

It's not something from what you see, touch, smell, feel physically; rather something you have in your beautiful visions born of your sincerity.

A heart of love bear forth fruits of many good things in life, real ones that are even valuable than any physical wealth you'll have, even if you're in the worst part of the world or worst situation the world describes, you'll taste the sweetness of it and rejoice, bring love to everyone whom witnessed, hope to the disappointed and faith to the frustrated.

With hands you heal, be it physical sicknesses, mental sicknesses, most importantly, hearts therefore relationships.

Legs you walk, tired you will get, stained and hurt but continue, walking the path only the wise will take.

Things you say and think can't stand alone, how you put them in actions completes them.

What you've done is what you've said and thought thus makes you.

Be always bold, strong and have compassion, see with your heart and with wisdom you shall endure to the end.

What if what it takes is lesser than what we thought it'd be?

Silly we are then.

love

yang

I'm having a crappy night, still wide awake when I shouldn't,

Can't sleep tonight, waiting for the dawn,

Making up excuses, when I'm actually thinking of you,

Gonn' take a shower, freshen up myself,

Get off those tears, in the rain at my bathroom,

Loving these hot baths, why can't I get the feeling,

Y're not mine, never was mine to be.

Just something you don't know.

yang.

2010 sucks, for mi it is.

For sure, there'll be loads of new things for mi in this 2011.

Change isn't bad, I suppose.

We change for better right? (:

Anyways, worked my December, 2010's of course.

It's in a kitchen, note the ' it's ', haha!

Had fun, out of my rotting zone (finally?!), ran away from home (Y) =D, led life with nothing, pure nothing, heeh. =3

Ahh, it's already 5.31am and I'm afraid I might go out couple hours later! =O

Plus I gotta work(?) from like 3pm to 12am, xD.

So, peace out, lovelies. (:

OHH WAIT!

Before I forgot, HAPPY NEW YEAR! =)

Things left behind, let them be.

The best is always ahead of us, don't you deny! ;p

Wish you to be having the best you could ever have always! (:

And we didn't appreciate.

We grumbled.

We didn't know,

The day is coming.

Live your year,

yang.

The first Christmas wish I've ever had is you showing up in front of me smilingly and say 'Here's your Christmas gift, right here, looking at you. <3'

Looking for anyone or anything that is capable of doing the impossible.

Blessed Xmas to you, lovely(s),

yang.

an eye for an eye and the world goes blind,

tooth for tooth and it goes cry'n.

sometimes read not between the lines,

they're just full of lies.
with forgiveness and love we dine,
we'll do just fine.

'LOLWUT, nahh LIES! my yogurt expires at 2013!' 

STOP hating, START loving 

(lol, took that from my forum signature, i R bored? xD)

it's been long,

i miss shower in the rain.

i wonder,

when can i do it again?

or when will joy come.

long gone,

yang

A Pirate

nothing to be written,

truth are to be hidden.

you already know that pattern,

why do you still think he is a captain.

i aint a man wearing in white,

nor a man fighting for black,

but a boy going between.

i don't understand how everyone is saying

time and distance make things

dimmer and then washed.

i just missing you more and more.

misses,

yang.

i see a starry night

the sky is so clear

the stars are dancing in heaps

and they winked at mi

it's been how long i wonder

forever is far too overrated

mi and you

in such lovely night

on a lawn so fluffy

laying so close to each other

watching the stars

making no wishes

living that dream

drown in love

so beautiful, so perfect

yet, you

the one makes the picture

are absent

in this broken puzzle

and how can i

not be lost

in this wide winged world

well, this is what i saw, the starry erm, dawn, while am cycling home.

(6.10-6.40 am.)

how i wish

a dream come true

pieces with no you,

yang

still remember that very day,

when we were playing teaching mi how to make up a girl (a friend),

i was playing around and acted 'inseriously'.

then you were playing fierce and shouted: 'HEY!!! CONCENTRATE, BE FOCUS, WILL YOU?!?!'

but hey, I WAS FOCUSING ON that very one behind the friend - YOU, ALL THE TIME, <3

how can you be asking mi to focus on someone else, especially when she's a girl, too.

didn't you know that, my baby? <3

and till now,

i'm still doing it. <3

i couldn't help it,

you're my everything.

the eyes and mind on you,

yang

heart? i gave.

unknown, uncertainty, these are the most essential element of life, well, i'd rather define it as life.

it's not because i am melancholic or what, and i really don't think i am either, so yahh.

it is strange how are things changing and turning and their new looks.

aiight, am not going to turn this as 'some lecture', but lol, i've got no idea why i started this post this way, i guess it's mi, THEEE weirdo. xD

my life was,is,will be (let's not hope so yahh? (: ) boring, literally and underestimatically, okay, maybe just 99% of it.

vacation, new environment, adventures, experiences, so on would be greatly, yahh, i mean greatly appreciated, volunteer, anyone? or you might call it sponsor, too, heeh.

what is the purpose of this post you ask?

blah, aii dee kay.  -.-, ikr, -.-

i guess the boredom has made mi crazy, ohh, no no, even crazier i'd say. D;

AHH PLEASE GIMMEH A LIL' SOMETHIN',FFS! WTFX  D;<

dang it, what is this again ._.

ciao before i smash the whole mirror of mah teacher's car and walk away pretending it's the tornado. bleh.

it's weird...

it's really weird...

it's really really weird...

yahh, indeed it is...

mhm...

anyway, i heart you :D

love,

yang

lol, just playing around with paint, guess i am just too bored.

ermm, let's name this anyhow-simply-random-idkwhatisthis thing, teen. xD

ahh, honestly i don't know what is this. xD

so if you know, kindly let mi know, thanks. xD

this is simply an accident resulted by my attempt to draw a smiley and failed much.

these kinda accidents are no longer surprises for mi cuz,

i have them a lot xD.

i always produce something beyond my desire and my imagination,

be it painting, drawing, writing, etc,

and to be frank,

i am surprised at how good i can be,

from time to time.

xD

note :  i don't know why can't i produce something i want instead

and also, i don't know why can't i duplicate those accidental product.

and yahh, i know i am WEIRD :D

after that weird painting,

i've tried a few more times,

and then anyhow drew a smiley, like finally, xD

so here it is, haah.

一次逛街时突然觉得肚子很痛，

于是走进街角的199吃到饱火锅店，

想说借个厕所用用，

偏偏找遍了一楼就是找不到，

于是我跑到二楼去，

二楼是还在装修空荡荡的没有任何东西，

但是却发现有一间厕所门贴着“故障待修,请勿使用“，

我实在是忍不住了，

管他三七二十一，

反正四下无人，

脱了裤子就朝马桶蹲下去，

霹雳啪啦……

好爽！ ！

结束后，

我走下楼去却发现空无一人，

奇怪了，

正值晚餐时间刚才楼下还高朋满座说，

怎么一下子就人去楼空呢？？

连服务生和接待都不见了……

于是我走近吧台，

并且问到：「有人在吗？怎么都没人了？」

此时，

只见一个男服务生从吧台下钻出来，

并且开口说：

「我操！

……刚才大便从天花板掉下来打到电风扇的时候你不在？

算你运气好.....」

roflmao.

read this from some facebook status update quite a while ago.

Px

waiting for the dawn to come.

lo.ve,

yang

我不借，

亦不戒，

猪八戒，

是小姐，

去小解，

我不解，

只出街，

不出借，

不出界，

没过节。

heeh. Px

xD xD

泪模糊了视焦，

脚绊了，

杯碎了，

酒洒了，

我，

死了。

姐，

这皎洁，

是月的纠结，

或你俩的过节，

我不解，

却想解，

他系的结。

i don't know, i really don't.

我要做一个能读人思想，读人心的人。

原因就只有一个，要保护你。

我若知道有任何人想要伤害你，哪怕他就只有一个念头，

我都会要他付出生命的代价，通杀无赦。

而你能读我的心，我的思想，

我要有任何害你的念头，就请你杀了我吧。

我唯一不能读的，是你的心，你的思想，

所以你放心，我对你永没戒心，

就算你想要伤害我，我心甘情愿，也乐意，

但不用你动手，免得脏了你的手，我自己来。

我愿意承受，一丝伤害都不要你受，

只要你享受，我什么都能忍受。

惟爱，

洋。

birthday, love.

thanks for living and for being present in my life.

though i've screw it all up, still, thanks, love.

be always blissful, at peace and at your best, cuz you deserve it, my angel.

please, take good care of yourself for mi.

i couldn't be more grateful for just being another pedestrian in the road you're taking.

torture is seeing you unhappy, hurt and disappoint, i'd rather die.

bye, love, i will make myself disappear from your sight, forever.

don't you worry.

eternally.

tears,

yang.

可是简单，对我来说，却是不曾，不会，也不有。

不在，是到底就不存在。

简单二字，当真可不简单哪。

在我骨头儿里，所谓的生活中，这字俩，没见过，消声灭迹更美吧。

至少曾经。

向往，

顶多想想罢了，

可哪有一斤二两呢。

还说知道，

压根儿就没碰过嘛。

一字；奢。

极。

我懂，我懵懂。

你猜，你瞎猜。

清冰谷。

心，

洋。

coffee and love, so similar,
sweet and bitter, so confusing,
hot and cold, so indecisive,
black and white, so perfect,
latte and mocha, so attractive,
happy and sorrows, blended together,
so well, so perfect,
in love or in pain,
your call,
make it,
it's yours.

really? mhm..

greetings, my blog reached over 200 posts already :D , posted or drafts.

thanks for supporting and everything, haha.

thank myself for being such a blogger, Px (this is mi being so thick-skinned, heeh)

blah blah blah...

i don't think i have achieved anything in this blog, to be honest, it actually degenerates instead of progressing, don't you think?

haha, anyway, i myself din know i've posted that much already... time and posts really in parallel huh? ;-b

not much to say, just... try to TAG and COMMENT bahh, but most of all, try to even READ, i know i rock okay? HAHA.

ciao.

don't push it so hard,

i know i rock hard.

hearts,

yang.

uhm, rather true i'd say, but in some way, it's not either, not really.
you've got to remind yourself, i am quite flexible in personalities, heeh.
you can call mi a kid with faces, not mask, haah.
so what do you think?

maybe just a bit, but not that exaggerated lahh, haha.

i don't know, but okay, i will try to try.
maybe you're right, most probably you are,
but it's really so hard for mi, you know,
to try, to imagine there's really any goodness for mi,
that i deserve any of them,
i hate trying, i am freaking sick of trying you know,
though i most likely didn't really try with all i have,
but trust mi, i've tried, times, uncountable times,
though i can barely remember them,
but i know, i did tried,
but things didn't turned out as they are supposed to be,
maybe they just didn't turned out to be what i wanted them to be,
maybe they did turned out what they're supposed to be,
but just, against what i've been hoping for,
i am like everyone, overwhelmed with the indescribable joy when i first saw hope,
when it is so grey,
but then, things just isn't working the same for mi as everyone else,
i see light, lights, many of them, like they are in infinity you know,
like there would never be darkness around mi anymore,
at that very second, i actually believed that,
i am in the dark and there they are, lights,
then suddenly, when i reach one of them,
or even go near any one of them by an wee inch,
it breaks, the glass scattered all over the floor,
at the moment, i really think it's just some short circuit,
no biggie, then the second one breaks,
third, fourth, fifth, sixth, tenth, twentieth..
i still, really convinced myself that maybe it's just the overloaded electricity,
maybe i am carrying some sort of static or what with mi,
and that's why they break once i go near them,
i am carrying some sort of static, but it's called curse,
one after another, they break,
i ran, i felt so lost, and i still do,
i went crazy and screamed my lungs out,
the dread just come haunting mi, gripping mi and wouldn't let mi go,
strangling mi, i can hardly breathe, and i struggle,
with all my strength and whatever that was left inside of mi,
the harder i struggle, the stronger the grip is,
i didn't give up, i tell myself,
yang, if you try hard enough, if you try hard enough,
you can do it, sure you can, you can do it,
just don't give up trying, try harder, harder, this isn't any harder,
more, more and more, yeah good, keeping it up, c'mon yang,
but the second i tried my hardest, my heart stopped beating,
here i am, at a place, so cold and dark,
shouting for help, wondering and hoping if anybody is there.
if anything was ever there,
i look around, i searched every single place,
stepping on all the glass on the floor,
letting my feet bleed,
until i can't feel them anymore,
i've found nothing, nothing, can you believe it?
i broke down, lying on the mass pieces of glass,
then i realized how much i love you,
how deep i fell for you,
how much i need you,
more than i ever do,
at that moment,
i regret,
i hate myself,
for not telling how much you mean to mi,
even though i know you won't feel the same way i feel for you,
you are more likely to be hating mi than even like mi,
i know,
but something in mi,
just want to tell you,
i love you and i really do,
i care about you,
although i've used everything i have,
to pretend i didn't,
but i just can't help it, i just can't,
it's just stronger than my mask,
i fight with it every time,
it is so hard hiding it from you,
but i think maybe i did success hiding it from you,
at least, most of it,
but another part of mi just hate it,
that part of mi is so desperate to show you the truth,
the only truth, who i really am, how i really feel,
what i really did,
there's scenarios running in my mind,
practicing and perfecting what i'm gonna tell you how i feel about you,
but when you come,
in front of mi,
i get panic,
my mind just go blank,
i'm just so happy seeing you,
and having you around mi,
and at the same time,
hating myself of being such coward,
if, if only i've given a chance,
a real chance to get my feeling out of my chest,
i think i'd only tell you,
i love you,
i can't live without you,
there isn't a day i was not thinking about you,
there isn't a night i slept without missing you,
weeping in self pity how we can never be together,
but in the end, i know,
love isn't how i feel,
is about how you feel,
is about your happiness,
is about letting you go when it is meant to be,
is about giving everything i have,
is about providing the best for you by any means,
is about taking all those sorrows, hurts, disappointment, helplessness, loneliness,
all kind of darkness, from you,
even if it means i have to have them in mi,
even if it means that i would suffer,
more than i can ever imagine,
but i will do it, joyfully,
knowing you'll be alright,
all these awful things have gone from you,
and i will never regret it,
i'll thank god,
for listening to my only prayer,
for making my only wish i've made upon the meteor shower,
happens,
then i'd say,
hey thanks pal,
worth it,
i'd go like,
hahahahaahahaha,
laughing loudly,
saying,
worth it, worth it, worth it,
hahahaha,
you can take my life now,
now that i know she's under your care,
and that she'll have the best she could ever have,
this is what you've promised mi,
take care,
my love.

run away,
escape from all these,

hiding in the place where everything else is,

fly into the sand,

cry my blood out,

by the oasis,

i've found nothing,

dying,

wanting,

breathe never,

so desperately,

like totally,

so please,

let mi,

just go,

let just mi,

split it all out,

giving all,

in and up,

making no sound,

hearing no shouts,

dreaming alive,

no more,
never,
kills.

just let mi be damned!

let it not be banned,

and thrown into the dam.

whoever gives a damn.

rather have 'u' but mi getting 'hurt',

than a 'heart' without 'u' in it.

I HEART YOU TO THE MAX!

who the heck cares!

yang.

wow, quite true!

来时空，去也空，

风一吹，魂尽散，

晚谷。

冰之风，

洋。

i only will go for adventures with you...

i know i rock! xP

at the eve of your presence,
thunder is striking unceasingly.

at the thought of your presence,
my heart is breaking unceasingly.

my heart can never stop bleeding and tearing thinking you.

l.o.ve,

yang

have you ever wonder...

i don't want to lose you,

not even the memories with you in it,

but when it's time to let go,

when it's best for you,

i won't hesitate,

to let you go,

but i ain't moving on,

and will never do so.

some day you will know,

at least that is what i keep telling myself.

love,

yang

there will be never a you like this.

i want but i won't.

i do but i can't.

patheticity.

lov.e,

yang

how would i be..

why couldn't the end be just the end?
i have had enough.

so please let mi go!
i am seriously sick of all these craps, i am really desperate.

will you ever do that to mi?

i wish..

tired and tired,

love,

yang

yet another year without you.

yang.

until you see this. xD

This is the proof I don't know how to draw or anything, at all :D

but i'm still trying to fake.

yang.

Life's full of 'if only's, 'only if's, hopes we should have, dreams should we possess, but without action, they're just bubbles, waiting to break.

The number of your dreams doesn't get you anywhere, the most it'd do to you is making you a dreamer, one living in a world own self created.

What we do in life is to have hopes, be courageous to dream, face hardships making them real, enjoy your happiness seeing the fruits of the seeds you planted so bravely and continue to dream more.

We have faith in our hopes, faith is something so wonderful that you just believe, with your pure heart that it will come to realization.

It's not something from what you see, touch, smell, feel physically; rather something you have in your beautiful visions born of your sincerity.

A heart of love bear forth fruits of many good things in life, real ones that are even valuable than any physical wealth you'll have, even if you're in the worst part of the world or worst situation the world describes, you'll taste the sweetness of it and rejoice, bring love to everyone whom witnessed, hope to the disappointed and faith to the frustrated.

With hands you heal, be it physical sicknesses, mental sicknesses, most importantly, hearts therefore relationships.

Legs you walk, tired you will get, stained and hurt but continue, walking the path only the wise will take.

Things you say and think can't stand alone, how you put them in actions completes them.

What you've done is what you've said and thought thus makes you.

Be always bold, strong and have compassion, see with your heart and with wisdom you shall endure to the end.

What if what it takes is lesser than what we thought it'd be?

Silly we are then.

love

yang

I'm having a crappy night, still wide awake when I shouldn't,

Can't sleep tonight, waiting for the dawn,

Making up excuses, when I'm actually thinking of you,

Gonn' take a shower, freshen up myself,

Get off those tears, in the rain at my bathroom,

Loving these hot baths, why can't I get the feeling,

Y're not mine, never was mine to be.

Just something you don't know.

yang.

2010 sucks, for mi it is.

For sure, there'll be loads of new things for mi in this 2011.

Change isn't bad, I suppose.

We change for better right? (:

Anyways, worked my December, 2010's of course.

It's in a kitchen, note the ' it's ', haha!

Had fun, out of my rotting zone (finally?!), ran away from home (Y) =D, led life with nothing, pure nothing, heeh. =3

Ahh, it's already 5.31am and I'm afraid I might go out couple hours later! =O

Plus I gotta work(?) from like 3pm to 12am, xD.

So, peace out, lovelies. (:

OHH WAIT!

Before I forgot, HAPPY NEW YEAR! =)

Things left behind, let them be.

The best is always ahead of us, don't you deny! ;p

Wish you to be having the best you could ever have always! (:

And we didn't appreciate.

We grumbled.

We didn't know,

The day is coming.

Live your year,

yang.

The first Christmas wish I've ever had is you showing up in front of me smilingly and say 'Here's your Christmas gift, right here, looking at you. <3'

Looking for anyone or anything that is capable of doing the impossible.

Blessed Xmas to you, lovely(s),

yang.

an eye for an eye and the world goes blind,

tooth for tooth and it goes cry'n.

sometimes read not between the lines,

they're just full of lies.
with forgiveness and love we dine,
we'll do just fine.

'LOLWUT, nahh LIES! my yogurt expires at 2013!' 

STOP hating, START loving 

(lol, took that from my forum signature, i R bored? xD)

it's been long,

i miss shower in the rain.

i wonder,

when can i do it again?

or when will joy come.

long gone,

yang

A Pirate

nothing to be written,

truth are to be hidden.

you already know that pattern,

why do you still think he is a captain.

i aint a man wearing in white,

nor a man fighting for black,

but a boy going between.

i don't understand how everyone is saying

time and distance make things

dimmer and then washed.

i just missing you more and more.

misses,

yang.

i see a starry night

the sky is so clear

the stars are dancing in heaps

and they winked at mi

it's been how long i wonder

forever is far too overrated

mi and you

in such lovely night

on a lawn so fluffy

laying so close to each other

watching the stars

making no wishes

living that dream

drown in love

so beautiful, so perfect

yet, you

the one makes the picture

are absent

in this broken puzzle

and how can i

not be lost

in this wide winged world

well, this is what i saw, the starry erm, dawn, while am cycling home.

(6.10-6.40 am.)

how i wish

a dream come true

pieces with no you,

yang

still remember that very day,

when we were playing teaching mi how to make up a girl (a friend),

i was playing around and acted 'inseriously'.

then you were playing fierce and shouted: 'HEY!!! CONCENTRATE, BE FOCUS, WILL YOU?!?!'

but hey, I WAS FOCUSING ON that very one behind the friend - YOU, ALL THE TIME, <3

how can you be asking mi to focus on someone else, especially when she's a girl, too.

didn't you know that, my baby? <3

and till now,

i'm still doing it. <3

i couldn't help it,

you're my everything.

the eyes and mind on you,

yang

heart? i gave.

unknown, uncertainty, these are the most essential element of life, well, i'd rather define it as life.

it's not because i am melancholic or what, and i really don't think i am either, so yahh.

it is strange how are things changing and turning and their new looks.

aiight, am not going to turn this as 'some lecture', but lol, i've got no idea why i started this post this way, i guess it's mi, THEEE weirdo. xD

my life was,is,will be (let's not hope so yahh? (: ) boring, literally and underestimatically, okay, maybe just 99% of it.

vacation, new environment, adventures, experiences, so on would be greatly, yahh, i mean greatly appreciated, volunteer, anyone? or you might call it sponsor, too, heeh.

what is the purpose of this post you ask?

blah, aii dee kay.  -.-, ikr, -.-

i guess the boredom has made mi crazy, ohh, no no, even crazier i'd say. D;

AHH PLEASE GIMMEH A LIL' SOMETHIN',FFS! WTFX  D;<

dang it, what is this again ._.

ciao before i smash the whole mirror of mah teacher's car and walk away pretending it's the tornado. bleh.

it's weird...

it's really weird...

it's really really weird...

yahh, indeed it is...

mhm...

anyway, i heart you :D

love,

yang

lol, just playing around with paint, guess i am just too bored.

ermm, let's name this anyhow-simply-random-idkwhatisthis thing, teen. xD

ahh, honestly i don't know what is this. xD

so if you know, kindly let mi know, thanks. xD

this is simply an accident resulted by my attempt to draw a smiley and failed much.

these kinda accidents are no longer surprises for mi cuz,

i have them a lot xD.

i always produce something beyond my desire and my imagination,

be it painting, drawing, writing, etc,

and to be frank,

i am surprised at how good i can be,

from time to time.

xD

note :  i don't know why can't i produce something i want instead

and also, i don't know why can't i duplicate those accidental product.

and yahh, i know i am WEIRD :D

after that weird painting,

i've tried a few more times,

and then anyhow drew a smiley, like finally, xD

so here it is, haah.

一次逛街时突然觉得肚子很痛，

于是走进街角的199吃到饱火锅店，

想说借个厕所用用，

偏偏找遍了一楼就是找不到，

于是我跑到二楼去，

二楼是还在装修空荡荡的没有任何东西，

但是却发现有一间厕所门贴着“故障待修,请勿使用“，

我实在是忍不住了，

管他三七二十一，

反正四下无人，

脱了裤子就朝马桶蹲下去，

霹雳啪啦……

好爽！ ！

结束后，

我走下楼去却发现空无一人，

奇怪了，

正值晚餐时间刚才楼下还高朋满座说，

怎么一下子就人去楼空呢？？

连服务生和接待都不见了……

于是我走近吧台，

并且问到：「有人在吗？怎么都没人了？」

此时，

只见一个男服务生从吧台下钻出来，

并且开口说：

「我操！

……刚才大便从天花板掉下来打到电风扇的时候你不在？

算你运气好.....」

roflmao.

read this from some facebook status update quite a while ago.

Px

waiting for the dawn to come.

lo.ve,

yang

我不借，

亦不戒，

猪八戒，

是小姐，

去小解，

我不解，

只出街，

不出借，

不出界，

没过节。

heeh. Px

xD xD

泪模糊了视焦，

脚绊了，

杯碎了，

酒洒了，

我，

死了。

姐，

这皎洁，

是月的纠结，

或你俩的过节，

我不解，

却想解，

他系的结。

i don't know, i really don't.

我要做一个能读人思想，读人心的人。

原因就只有一个，要保护你。

我若知道有任何人想要伤害你，哪怕他就只有一个念头，

我都会要他付出生命的代价，通杀无赦。

而你能读我的心，我的思想，

我要有任何害你的念头，就请你杀了我吧。

我唯一不能读的，是你的心，你的思想，

所以你放心，我对你永没戒心，

就算你想要伤害我，我心甘情愿，也乐意，

但不用你动手，免得脏了你的手，我自己来。

我愿意承受，一丝伤害都不要你受，

只要你享受，我什么都能忍受。

惟爱，

洋。

birthday, love.

thanks for living and for being present in my life.

though i've screw it all up, still, thanks, love.

be always blissful, at peace and at your best, cuz you deserve it, my angel.

please, take good care of yourself for mi.

i couldn't be more grateful for just being another pedestrian in the road you're taking.

torture is seeing you unhappy, hurt and disappoint, i'd rather die.

bye, love, i will make myself disappear from your sight, forever.

don't you worry.

eternally.

tears,

yang.

可是简单，对我来说，却是不曾，不会，也不有。

不在，是到底就不存在。

简单二字，当真可不简单哪。

在我骨头儿里，所谓的生活中，这字俩，没见过，消声灭迹更美吧。

至少曾经。

向往，

顶多想想罢了，

可哪有一斤二两呢。

还说知道，

压根儿就没碰过嘛。

一字；奢。

极。

我懂，我懵懂。

你猜，你瞎猜。

清冰谷。

心，

洋。

coffee and love, so similar,
sweet and bitter, so confusing,
hot and cold, so indecisive,
black and white, so perfect,
latte and mocha, so attractive,
happy and sorrows, blended together,
so well, so perfect,
in love or in pain,
your call,
make it,
it's yours.

really? mhm..

greetings, my blog reached over 200 posts already :D , posted or drafts.

thanks for supporting and everything, haha.

thank myself for being such a blogger, Px (this is mi being so thick-skinned, heeh)

blah blah blah...

i don't think i have achieved anything in this blog, to be honest, it actually degenerates instead of progressing, don't you think?

haha, anyway, i myself din know i've posted that much already... time and posts really in parallel huh? ;-b

not much to say, just... try to TAG and COMMENT bahh, but most of all, try to even READ, i know i rock okay? HAHA.

ciao.

don't push it so hard,

i know i rock hard.

hearts,

yang.

uhm, rather true i'd say, but in some way, it's not either, not really.
you've got to remind yourself, i am quite flexible in personalities, heeh.
you can call mi a kid with faces, not mask, haah.
so what do you think?

maybe just a bit, but not that exaggerated lahh, haha.

i don't know, but okay, i will try to try.
maybe you're right, most probably you are,
but it's really so hard for mi, you know,
to try, to imagine there's really any goodness for mi,
that i deserve any of them,
i hate trying, i am freaking sick of trying you know,
though i most likely didn't really try with all i have,
but trust mi, i've tried, times, uncountable times,
though i can barely remember them,
but i know, i did tried,
but things didn't turned out as they are supposed to be,
maybe they just didn't turned out to be what i wanted them to be,
maybe they did turned out what they're supposed to be,
but just, against what i've been hoping for,
i am like everyone, overwhelmed with the indescribable joy when i first saw hope,
when it is so grey,
but then, things just isn't working the same for mi as everyone else,
i see light, lights, many of them, like they are in infinity you know,
like there would never be darkness around mi anymore,
at that very second, i actually believed that,
i am in the dark and there they are, lights,
then suddenly, when i reach one of them,
or even go near any one of them by an wee inch,
it breaks, the glass scattered all over the floor,
at the moment, i really think it's just some short circuit,
no biggie, then the second one breaks,
third, fourth, fifth, sixth, tenth, twentieth..
i still, really convinced myself that maybe it's just the overloaded electricity,
maybe i am carrying some sort of static or what with mi,
and that's why they break once i go near them,
i am carrying some sort of static, but it's called curse,
one after another, they break,
i ran, i felt so lost, and i still do,
i went crazy and screamed my lungs out,
the dread just come haunting mi, gripping mi and wouldn't let mi go,
strangling mi, i can hardly breathe, and i struggle,
with all my strength and whatever that was left inside of mi,
the harder i struggle, the stronger the grip is,
i didn't give up, i tell myself,
yang, if you try hard enough, if you try hard enough,
you can do it, sure you can, you can do it,
just don't give up trying, try harder, harder, this isn't any harder,
more, more and more, yeah good, keeping it up, c'mon yang,
but the second i tried my hardest, my heart stopped beating,
here i am, at a place, so cold and dark,
shouting for help, wondering and hoping if anybody is there.
if anything was ever there,
i look around, i searched every single place,
stepping on all the glass on the floor,
letting my feet bleed,
until i can't feel them anymore,
i've found nothing, nothing, can you believe it?
i broke down, lying on the mass pieces of glass,
then i realized how much i love you,
how deep i fell for you,
how much i need you,
more than i ever do,
at that moment,
i regret,
i hate myself,
for not telling how much you mean to mi,
even though i know you won't feel the same way i feel for you,
you are more likely to be hating mi than even like mi,
i know,
but something in mi,
just want to tell you,
i love you and i really do,
i care about you,
although i've used everything i have,
to pretend i didn't,
but i just can't help it, i just can't,
it's just stronger than my mask,
i fight with it every time,
it is so hard hiding it from you,
but i think maybe i did success hiding it from you,
at least, most of it,
but another part of mi just hate it,
that part of mi is so desperate to show you the truth,
the only truth, who i really am, how i really feel,
what i really did,
there's scenarios running in my mind,
practicing and perfecting what i'm gonna tell you how i feel about you,
but when you come,
in front of mi,
i get panic,
my mind just go blank,
i'm just so happy seeing you,
and having you around mi,
and at the same time,
hating myself of being such coward,
if, if only i've given a chance,
a real chance to get my feeling out of my chest,
i think i'd only tell you,
i love you,
i can't live without you,
there isn't a day i was not thinking about you,
there isn't a night i slept without missing you,
weeping in self pity how we can never be together,
but in the end, i know,
love isn't how i feel,
is about how you feel,
is about your happiness,
is about letting you go when it is meant to be,
is about giving everything i have,
is about providing the best for you by any means,
is about taking all those sorrows, hurts, disappointment, helplessness, loneliness,
all kind of darkness, from you,
even if it means i have to have them in mi,
even if it means that i would suffer,
more than i can ever imagine,
but i will do it, joyfully,
knowing you'll be alright,
all these awful things have gone from you,
and i will never regret it,
i'll thank god,
for listening to my only prayer,
for making my only wish i've made upon the meteor shower,
happens,
then i'd say,
hey thanks pal,
worth it,
i'd go like,
hahahahaahahaha,
laughing loudly,
saying,
worth it, worth it, worth it,
hahahaha,
you can take my life now,
now that i know she's under your care,
and that she'll have the best she could ever have,
this is what you've promised mi,
take care,
my love.

run away,
escape from all these,

hiding in the place where everything else is,

fly into the sand,

cry my blood out,

by the oasis,

i've found nothing,

dying,

wanting,

breathe never,

so desperately,

like totally,

so please,

let mi,

just go,

let just mi,

split it all out,

giving all,

in and up,

making no sound,

hearing no shouts,

dreaming alive,

no more,
never,
kills.

just let mi be damned!

let it not be banned,

and thrown into the dam.

whoever gives a damn.

rather have 'u' but mi getting 'hurt',

than a 'heart' without 'u' in it.

I HEART YOU TO THE MAX!

who the heck cares!

yang.

wow, quite true!

来时空，去也空，

风一吹，魂尽散，

晚谷。

冰之风，

洋。

i only will go for adventures with you...

i know i rock! xP

at the eve of your presence,
thunder is striking unceasingly.

at the thought of your presence,
my heart is breaking unceasingly.

my heart can never stop bleeding and tearing thinking you.

l.o.ve,

yang

have you ever wonder...

i don't want to lose you,

not even the memories with you in it,

but when it's time to let go,

when it's best for you,

i won't hesitate,

to let you go,

but i ain't moving on,

and will never do so.

some day you will know,

at least that is what i keep telling myself.

love,

yang

there will be never a you like this.

i want but i won't.

i do but i can't.

patheticity.

lov.e,

yang

how would i be..

why couldn't the end be just the end?
i have had enough.

so please let mi go!
i am seriously sick of all these craps, i am really desperate.

will you ever do that to mi?

i wish..

tired and tired,

love,

yang

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